Language learning is my hobby. I get a lot of personal satisfaction and excitement from self-studying a language. With that enthusiasm, you would think that I enjoy talking about languages to others. It is one particular question, however, that makes me hate the discussion about my hobby: “how many languages do you speak?”
I don’t think I’m alone in my hatred of this question. Many language learners really don’t like this question. It can ruin your enjoyment about talking about languages. People are generally very protective of their hobbies or niche communities, and in the world of languages, this is the question that outsiders can pose that requires a lot of careful planning.
Why do I hate this question?
The main burden that this question gives me is the unnecessary expectation of perfection. When someone shows interest in my hobby, they see it in a very binary way. Either you have never tried to learn the language, or you are a master and can participate in the culture of those speakers. The person asking this question is not really concerned with the daily struggle and the joy of fumbling through speaking, which I love. That person is more interested in the result: so you can talk to my grandma? so you can become a UN translator? so you can become a CIA spy? Oh, you can’t do that? Then, you’re a faker?
The question “how many languages do you speak” reduces everything into total mastery or total ignorance. It removes all nuance that language learners try to understand by taking placement tests. When you include a language in that number, you imply that there is nothing more you can do to improve. For that reason, it is a lot of pressure of whether to include the language you just started or the language you just put down or the dead language or the conlang. Those are all part of your language learner journey and affect all future knowledge, but these might not count depending on the person.
Something that also goes through my head is concerns of what they will do with this knowledge. Will they make me prove it? Should I expect them to make me recite a poem in that target language? Will they embarrass me by forcing me to interact with their friend who is a native of that target language? All these fears of what that person will do with that glorified high score run through my head when the question drops.
How language learners talk to each other
Language enthusiasts exchange this information with each other somehow. How they do it can give you a hint as to what is important and valued in this community.
-What languages are you focusing on?
This question returns the discretion to the person receiving this question. It is up to them to determine what to mention. It acknowledges that some languages can be in a weak state or that some have been totally abandoned, and these are not of interest at the moment. The language learner can determine which language they are most proud of sharing. The language could be at a total beginner stage, but the enthusiasm shines through the lack of knowledge.
-Which languages are you most comfortable with?
This question only focuses on languages that the learner can present at that moment. It lets the learner prepare by only mentioning languages that can impress. The power returns to the language learner to share things only within their comfort zone. You don’t have to talk about politics in the language you can only introduce yourself in.
-How is your [French]?
By asking about a particular language (not only French), you give the language learner the freedom to describe what excites them. They have all the opportunity to mention nuance and differing skill levels while still giving the detail that interests the person asking. If the person asking does not care about half of the languages, it doesn’t make sense to ask about those. This way, the person asking can focus on the one they truly care to know about. At the same time, the language leaner has the freedom to keep expectations as high or as low as they should be.
Language level is a more useful tool to gauge someone’s abilities
With a question like “how many languages do you speak,” the importance of measuring language levels is totally gone. For example, having an A1 in Spanish means very little. Many people raised in the US know basic greetings in Spanish and know numbers to 10. However, if you include that in your count of languages, you put it on the same level as the language you’ve studied for 10 years that you can use to have general conversations.
Languages with little knowledge are on the same level as languages you’ve put in massive amounts of effort into. The weak get stronger, and the stronger get weak. This is all because you oversimplify the process of language learning into a score count as if this is an arcade game and each language is a level.
Not everyone is a language learner
All that considered, life is too short to police how people speak to you. Of course, not everyone will be experts on the things you want them to be experts in. We have to accept that most people don’t see a difference between A1 and C2. The person who can talk about the weather and the person who can talk about geopolitical strategy in their target language are the exact same to an observer. Unfortunately, we cannot give them the nuance we have in our own minds.
This is not exclusive to language learners. As many of us have experienced, that cliché, “it’s not a phase, mom,” is an observer oversimplifying an individual’s personal perception. That mother who does not give her child’s phase respect is the same as that person trying to boil down a language learner’s experience to a single number.
Recognizing that, not every conversation needs to perfectly express yourself in the exact way you want. People perceive what they want, and we cannot control their minds. If they don’t see a difference between A1 and C2, and they want to know all the languages you have experience with, who are you to lecture them about the complexities of language learning?
Adapt your speech to normies
In order to navigate the world where you cannot control people’s thoughts, you can at least be aware of the words you use. The most important thing you need to consider when you hear the question “how many languages do you speak,” is humility. It is important to remain humble. No one wants a polyglot who thinks they’re better than anyone. We need to remain aware that we language learners are not geniuses. When people of some races or nationalities get praised for learning languages, it is expected of some others. As such, if language learning is a hobby, it’s just a hobby. Who gets praised for hobbies like stamp collecting?
I think the best response to “how many languages do you speak” is to downplay the number and only include languages I can prove in that moment. While I would love to include languages I’ve dabbled in like Latin, Esperanto, or Romani, if I can’t explain it or prove it, I would rather exclude it.
Furthermore, you could underexaggerate your abilities in those language you mention. Even if you can have a conversation in that language, you could just say “I’m not that good.” It’s simple, and the listener can extract their own conclusions from that.
At the end of the day, it is just a hobby
If you are a language learner, languages should excite you. You should enjoy the process. If you are worrying about perceptions, you have extracted enjoyment from something that should be fun. Like envy, fear of inadequacy has no place in language learning.
Nine times out of ten, nothing comes from the question “how many languages do you speak.” Language learning is how I explore the world. It’s how I get into others’ heads. As such, I can’t limit what I’m doing to avoid undue expectations. Ultimately, if someone has unfair expectations for me, that’s their fault. They can continue asking why I learned so many, or they could have a false perception of me. That doesn’t concern me.
If you want to learn more languages with me, you can watch my YouTube channel or explore my website more.
Keep on learning! Don’t let oversimplifying questions stop your journey!
