This group, a friend of mine, my friend and one of my friends, is a little different from the words I’ve talked about before. I usually talk about the difference in meaning based on vocabulary nuance. The difference between these three is more a matter of grammar. What exactly is that difference? Let’s go over that today.
One fact about English that you shouldn’t forget is that when you use a possessive adjective, it’s automatically a definite noun. Think about it: if I talk about my thing, it is definitely a very specific object.
This is my house.
= This is the one and only house I live in.
Because of this inherent meaning of possessive adjectives like my, your, his, our, their, or [someone]’s, “a friend of mine” can be used in special ways that “my friend” cannot be.
“A friend of mine” emphasizes someone indefinite with a connection to me.
A friend of mine gave me some advice.
= Someone whose name I won’t say told me something.
Because possessives are definite, “my friend” emphasizes a friend that the listener definitely knows.
My friend from New York is meeting me at the airport.
= I’m going to meet a friend that I have told you about before.
When we choose between “a friend of mine” and “my friend,” sometimes we are talking about the listener’s knowledge:
Person 1: Who are you meeting with?
Person 2: Just a friend of my sister’s. You’ve never met her.
Sometimes, choosing “a [something] of [someone’s]” is about whether there are many things in this group.
Visiting the Eiffel Tower has been a dream of my mom’s her whole life.
= My mom wants to do so many things, and one thing on her bucket list is to see the tower.
Visiting the Eiffel Tower has been my mom’s dream her whole life.
= The one and only thing that will give my mother satisfaction with life is seeing this tower.
This construction “a [something] of [someone’s]” is a very unique structure that tells us some interesting information. If you hear a native speaker, they are either trying to emphasize:
- that it is indefinite
- that you don’t know the person
- that this is just one thing in a group of many
What about “one of my friends?”
Good question. “[One] of [group]” is a very similar construction. It overlaps with “a [something] of [something’s].” However, “one of my friends” really is emphasizing that first word, one. Because of this, I recommend using this when the key point of the sentence is the number and the lack of the full group.
Three of the criminals were caught by police.
= THREE criminals are off the street. The other criminals are still free.
One of my New York friends is meeting me at the airport.
= Only one person is available to meet me. The others were unavailable.
In summary:
a friend of mine > emphasizes indefinite, emphasizes that you do not know, emphasizes the number one
my friend > emphasizes the one and only, the one you know about
one of my friends > emphasizes the absence of others (you can change the number)
These are very useful constructions that natives use everyday. They have a very specific situations, so don’t overuse them.
Go! Use these like a native! Impress people by not using a possessive sometimes!!! If you want to impress more people, you can visit my YouTube channel and learn more language learning tips.
